As we prepare for 2018 Evaluations it is important that parents remember the positive in the tryout experience. These positives exist whether or not your young athlete makes Premier, Elite, or is recommended to another program. Michael Jordan didn’t make his high school basketball team. The tryout process is not perfect. Tryouts are one of the many experiences in youth sports that prepare us for similar situations in our adult life, such as college applications, job interviews and more.

Remember the following:

1. Set Goals: Before the tryout process begins, responsible sports parents will have a conversation with your young athlete about their goals for trying out and playing on the team. Give them positive assurances that no matter the outcome, you support them and are proud of them. By talking about goals and outlining alternatives, the tryout process won’t feel so "do-or-die" for your young athlete.

2.  Focus on Effort: Remind your athlete they can’t control the outcome – whether or not they make the team. What they can control is their effort and attitude. Remind them to give maximum effort at all times, and to focus on their own effort, not what other athletes are doing.

3. Have Fun: Laughing, having fun and learning new things can all be part of tryouts. Regardless of the outcome, kids should have a good time during the tryouts themselves. Laughter can also really help young athletes let go of stress and stay relaxed. 

4. Open to Learning: While coaches will certainly evaluate players based on skill levels, coaches also look for athletes who have the potential to improve (aka a player who is "coachable"). Remind your athlete that they might make mistakes in the tryouts, but how they handle those mistakes may be even more important. Body language and attitude go a long way.

5. OK to be Disappointed: As Responsible Sports Coaches and Responsible Sports Parents, we can help kids cope with their disappointment by reminding them that it is in fact OK to be disappointed. Empathize with them. Don’t try to make your child feel better by saying the tryout wasn’t important or fair. Instead, consider sharing a story of when you were disappointed and how you overcame that disappointment.

6. "You’re The Kind Of Person": The team at PCA reminds us that "You’re The Kind Of Person" statements can really help kids manage through the disappointment of not making the team. "I know it means a lot to you, but you’re the kind of person who doesn’t give up easily." Or "You’re the kind of person who doesn’t let setbacks keep you from playing the game you love." Use these statements to help shape your athlete’s self-image in the face of disappointment, and to begin planning how to move beyond that disappointment.

7. Check Your Emotions: Responsible sports parents keep their own emotions in check when it comes to their children’s youth sports experience. Having parents who get upset or want to challenge a coach’s decision about tryouts, just puts added pressure on kids. It also increases the chance that kid will quit.

8. Grandparent vs Parent: Be more like their grandparent and not their parent during this process. Spoil them. Be overly positive. Show them unconditional love. 

9. Reality Check: As a parent your whole self worth should not lie in the fact that your child makes a top soccer team. They are not you and will do things different from you. Life isn’t always fair and a negative reaction to the tryout process can be detrimental in the long run. Have fun because these days go quickly.

10. Relax: During tryouts, refrain from coaching them. Go far enough away that your child nor the coaches can see you. Don’t lurk next to the sideline, talk to the coaching staff on breaks, and give hand signals. Go catch up on your reading.

As you and your athletes prepare for tryouts this season, consider taking a responsible sports parent approach to ensure, regardless of the outcome, our kids gain valuable life lessons.

Excerpted from Positive Coaching Alliance (PCA)